Yes yes, the last post was a shameless ploy to begger donations. But this one isn't.
This is just a rambling post that I felt I needed to make because my mind wouldn't shut up last night. Maybe if I tell it to someone else, my brain will stop discussing things with itself, and let me sleep. Well, that makes sense to me. Anyways...here's what's going on.
-Self doubt sucks. I love photography. I have a passion for it. I have a good eye. I learn techniques well. I'm always fasinated with it. I honestly believe that I take good pictures. But I feel I am missing the essential part of what it takes to be a photographer. That creative spark or an artist's soul. Example: My digital teacher wants us to do a tryptic *three pictures that relate to one another and are displayed side by side* that form a narrative...a story. I'm befuddled. What story can I tell? I've been thinking about this for about two weeks now and nothing. The only thing I can think of when I try to pin something down it "If I can't complete a simple assignment, what kind of photographer am I?"
-Being easily frazzled sucks. This semester has being a little laid back. Until this week. Yes, I knew that the tryptic is due on the 12th. And I knew I had a group presentation due that same day too...and I am the group leader of my group which is covering the legal aspect of the culture war. *Never tell your teacher you have stage fright and social anxiety because they seem to fell responsible in making you confront your fears.* Well, then comes jewelry class. When had 2 months on the last project, and this one, we've got two weeks. Yay. Another major thing due on the 12th. And I have a staff meeting I have to attend this Friday, so that cuts into my time to get this done. The next two weeks are going to be a nightmare.
-Dealing with money and patience sucks. I received a healthy sum from my tax return this year. I wanted to buy a Canon Eos 7D. The camera store I work on and off with says they'll see if they can get me a deal. That was about 2 months ago. Everytime I call or go in, the owner has been too busy to talk or isn't in the building at all. Which is so odd. Knowing him well enough, I know this isn't a personal slight, it's just how it is. If it isn't a customer he has to deal with RIGHT NOW, then it escapes his mind. It's frustrating though. The longer I wait, the more I dip into the money, the more family borrows, the less there is to get the camera. It's going to be tight. If my mom doesn't pay me back soon *She's got over a $1000 bucks owed right now*, the dream may not happen. I wanted to give my business to the camera store, because I love them, but if I had just bought online when I got the camera, I wouldn't be stressing over the money and the fact that I don't have a professional digital camera.
Despite this, I've been pretty cheery since last night, which is odd. I have a to-do list with all the steps I need to get my homework done in an orderly fashion. I just wish I had a bit of a social life to balance it all out. I'll work on some of it tonight. Probably my schedule for next semester. I'm still torn between full time or part time. Full time is more stressful, but part time might affect student loans and I won't be able to take any classes that might boost my career. Either way, it won't change my graduation date.
See...still rambling. I'm going to cut myself off here, because this is already tl;dr.
Blessed be, folks!
In my experience, telling a narrative is about the story you want to tell. What's your favorite fairytale or favorite movie? Sum up the storyline into one sentence and poof! A basic narrative that you can illustrate with your camera. Heck, the creation of a meal, it's brief beauty and then consumption would be a super simple example. =)
ReplyDeleteHope you get some sleep! *sends sleepy vibes*